I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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