another moral hangover. fuck.
I want to have your abortion
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
