He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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