I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
