Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
