i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
