life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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