Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.