is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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