just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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