My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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