You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
