Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
