I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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