Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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