Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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