Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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