They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
