Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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