you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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