you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
