Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
