Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
