Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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