Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
