Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
