after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
