Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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