I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm like, not good at living.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
