we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.