I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.