Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (633)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

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  (910): I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card. http://tfl.nu/3mw9
  Replies (66) Good night (1090) Bad night (3289)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

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  (917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom? http://tfl.nu/36az
  Replies (238) Good night (5087) Bad night (1345)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day

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  (602): Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day http://tfl.nu/7jqo
  Replies (17) Good night (3663) Bad night (1319)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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  (405): while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love. http://tfl.nu/g8jj
  Replies (6) Good night (3416) Bad night (1081)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party

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  (330): Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party http://tfl.nu/m7il
  Replies (4) Good night (2122) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.

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  (201): Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/iewi
  Replies (6) Good night (1909) Bad night (602)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration

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  (610): You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration http://tfl.nu/k4dg
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (479)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.

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  (309): And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left. http://tfl.nu/6io8
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.

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  (412): he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love. http://tfl.nu/yxe9
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (361)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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  (225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (354)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.

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  (303): That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown. http://tfl.nu/5k1c
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!

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  (404): I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto! http://tfl.nu/mgcq
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.

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  (928): I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment. http://tfl.nu/bhdk
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (631)
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  (420): View more from

  I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?

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  (420): I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses? http://tfl.nu/p6pp
  Replies (7) Good night (555) Bad night (274)

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