Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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  (206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. http://tfl.nu/i5qc
  Replies (8) Good night (597) Bad night (1890)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I peed while puking? Even better

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are

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  (503): I peed while puking? Even better (1-503): Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are http://tfl.nu/zcfc
  Replies (23) Good night (2837) Bad night (909)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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  (317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq
  Replies (31) Good night (5387) Bad night (611)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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  (479): even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit... http://tfl.nu/fzja
  Replies (60) Good night (4565) Bad night (1603)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

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  (856): It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore. http://tfl.nu/4nio
  Replies (9) Good night (1465) Bad night (4486)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  and...?

  (936): View more from Texas

  I told him it was alright.

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  (936): he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him. (812): and...? (936): I told him it was alright. http://tfl.nu/yirn
  Replies (28) Good night (3892) Bad night (5605)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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  (910): You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?" http://tfl.nu/kb6v
  Replies (12) Good night (5644) Bad night (906)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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  (901): I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism. http://tfl.nu/eczv
  Replies (3) Good night (3078) Bad night (1206)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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  (703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e
  Replies (9) Good night (5532) Bad night (1084)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.

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  (719): If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/5byt
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (658)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand

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  (413): he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand http://tfl.nu/zcon
  Replies (17) Good night (3773) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

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  (307): all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot. http://tfl.nu/o7h8
  Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.

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  (419): There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night? (1-419): Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass. http://tfl.nu/devs
  Replies (12) Good night (1590) Bad night (446)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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  (616): I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza http://tfl.nu/i05b
  Replies (1) Good night (1170) Bad night (361)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (567) Bad night (1285)

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