we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
