so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
