so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
