I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
