Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
