This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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