I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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