i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
vagina is talking i cant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
