she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When did angry sex become our thing?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
