Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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