I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
