what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
