More tranny stories later!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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