lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
