Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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