I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize