Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
