And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize