I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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