im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
