I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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