She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
