drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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