idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
