I cut my penus on the lid.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize