So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
