Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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