do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am spending my child support on dildos
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
