Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

dude, you're being a jerk.

(919): View more from North Carolina

sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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(940): View more from Texas

there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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(713): View more from Texas

woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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(845): View more from New York

the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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(916): View more from California

Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(801): View more from Utah

Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...

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