I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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