So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
