i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
