Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
