All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just cropdusted the office
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
