ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

  Fav 4 990 1501

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

  Fav 41 4926 920

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  bonus

  Fav 20 4448 755

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

  Fav 20 3263 4265

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

  Fav 32 6229 3953

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.

  Fav 11 2996 1160

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

  Fav 10 3441 1170

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

  Fav 6 3397 1361

  share tweet
  

• (409): View more from Texas

  Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

  Fav 15 2886 1209

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (478): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

  Fav 15 3791 987

  share tweet
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

  Fav 2 793 795

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame

  Fav 4 841 511

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

  Fav 1 538 608

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.

  Fav 7 736 433

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night

  Fav 0 9 21

  share tweet
  

Randomize