So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.