you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.