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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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• (760): View more from California

  Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?

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