Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  (727): View more from Florida

  ooooooooooooo i'm drink

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  (727): wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (727): ooooooooooooo i'm drink http://tfl.nu/m1fg
  Replies (25) Good night (4608) Bad night (735)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.

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  (512): i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th. http://tfl.nu/3s5y
  Replies (9) Good night (2825) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life

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  (862): i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life http://tfl.nu/57hm
  Replies (52) Good night (1153) Bad night (7133)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

  (1-760): View more from California

  I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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  (760): Why is your vibrator in the fridge? (1-760): I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there. http://tfl.nu/7etk
  Replies (40) Good night (7126) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.

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  (630): Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI. http://tfl.nu/qdh3
  Replies (11) Good night (1207) Bad night (3945)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
  Replies (7) Good night (2093) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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  (479): It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule. http://tfl.nu/n9xy
  Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  (304): All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time. http://tfl.nu/z2dh
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real

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  (812): gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real http://tfl.nu/mhxe
  Replies (4) Good night (1438) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.

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  (907): Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless. http://tfl.nu/ncqk
  Replies (9) Good night (541) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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  (520): That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you. http://tfl.nu/jnah
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.

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  (732): Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please. http://tfl.nu/0g2f
  Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.

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  (618): There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it. http://tfl.nu/w3m4
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing

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  (224): You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing http://tfl.nu/w6m2
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (158)

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