Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
