So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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