I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
